Alabama's 5-star shopping spree

[tsweezy]

Alabama. Roll Tide. The Crimson elephants. The fighting Nick Saban ThatFunks. We all know about them. One of the historic programs in America and SimCFB history, Alabama is known as the 2022 national champions. However, they have had their setbacks of late. While 2022 saw triumphant highs, 2023 saw a 5-7 record with no bowl game. 0-41 against Colorado, 3-20 against JMU, 3-34 against Ole Miss, the worst loss in Alabama history. The whispers were deafening. Had @thatfunk checked out after winning his title? Were his sights set on the NFL? Would the Tide ever be good again?

The back half of 2023 saw them sputter back to life, but too little too late, the season closed and eyes turned to 2024. This was a pivotal year. The coaching staff knew they had to rebound. More pressingly, they needed to get some recruiting trail wins. The 2017-2020 recruiting classes were tops in the country and the seniors in 2024 were loaded with talent. Beyond that though is a huge trough. Of the players returning for 2025 there is one B+, one B overall, and everyone else is B- or worse. For reference, the 2022 roster saw 17 non-graduating players with B or better overalls. This year they needed to hit the trail HARD to bring the level of talent back up to expectations.

2024:

So far, this season has been a smashing success. Alabama is 4-0 again behind an amazing offensive line and a defense headlined by Weston Shackelford. While they're confident and rolling on the field, they may be doing even better off the field. At this point in time, Alabama has secured commitments from a nation-leading 4 5-star recruits and is in contention for the overall class crown. Fate has surely smiled on the state, as Alabama produced SEVEN 5-star recruits, more than every other state (more than Texas and California combined in fact). A quick look at the signings:

5-star QB Thatcher Papafinkel (Create a Croot) - Balanced - C potential - #4 overall recruit (#1 QB)

5-star WR Joe Jensen - Red Zone Threat - B potential - #24 overall recruit (#5 WR)

5-star OLB Wallace Muth - Pass Rush - C potential - #10 overall recruit (#1 OLB)

5-star FS Michael Mullen - Run Stopper - A- potential - #11 overall recruit (#1 FS)

Absolutely staggering haul. Papafinkel is obviously the bell-cow as a top-5 overall recruit, the number 1 QB in the class, and a much needed leader considering the alternative was to start 2025 with someone named... Michael Chapa? Papa decided to stay home and lead the Tide back to glory.

Similar stories for Jensen, Muth, and Mullen. All 3 of them will walk onto campus as the best player at their position and be instant starters. The gang has been peer recruiting like mad too, as they're not done yet. Alabama is also the public favorite for in-state top-200 recruits Geoffrey Daud (CB), Richard Lewis (CB), Aaron Boghosian (CB) (are we noticing a trend here?) along with 4-stars Dennis Logan (DE), and Eric Lyle (K). An unbelievable in-state haul, although after this wave the coaches have indicated they might deign to look at some out of state players to fill the rest of the recruiting class. 

Fans have been in a frenzy, riding a bubble of euphoria. Below are some pulled reactions from around the web:

Fan and Media Reactions: Alabama's Rollercoaster Year

Twitter Reactions:

1. @BamaNation123: "From 5-7 to potential champs? ThatFunk must have sold his soul to the football gods. 😂 #RollTide #BamaBack"
2. @FootballFever: "If Alabama's recruiting class was a stock, I'd be buying all the shares. 🚀📈 #RollTide #FutureIsBright"
3. @BamaBanter: "2023: ‘I can’t believe we lost again.’ 2024: ‘I can’t believe we signed ANOTHER 5-star!’ #RollTide"
4. @CollegeFBObsessed: "Alabama’s 2023 season was the plot twist nobody saw coming. Can’t wait to see the sequel in 2024! 🍿🏈 #RollTide"

Reddit Threads:

1. r/CFB: "Alabama’s 2023 Season: Worst Hangover Ever?" - A deep dive into what went wrong last year and how they turned it around.
2. r/CFB: "Is Alabama the New Phoenix? Rising from the Ashes with Five-Stars!" - Fans discuss the impressive recruiting class and what it means for the future.
3. r/AlabamaFootball: "2024: The Year of Redemption. Let’s Break It Down" - A thread analyzing the upcoming season’s schedule and predicting outcomes.
4. r/AlabamaFootball: "Favorite ThatFunk Memes to Celebrate the Recruiting Wins" - A light-hearted thread filled with memes and gifs of Saban Thatfunk.

Forum Posts:

1. BamaInsider.com: "Our Future QB: Thatcher Papafinkel Hype Train! 🚂💨" - Fans share highlights, stats, and excitement about the new quarterback recruit.
2. CrimsonTideZone.com: "Which Senior Will We Miss the Most?" - A heartfelt discussion about the graduating seniors and their contributions.
3. RollTideBama.com: "Top 5 Recruits We’re Most Excited About!" - Fans rank and debate the incoming five-star recruits.
4. BamaOnline.com: "From 5-7 to Heaven: Predicting Our 2024 Comeback" - Bold predictions and hopes for the 2024 season.

Message Boards:

1. TideFans.com: "Remembering the Dark Days of 2023 and Laughing Now" - Fans reminisce about the tough times and celebrate the current successes.
2. RollTideNation.net: "Wallace Muth: The Next Big Thing in Pass Rush?" - A detailed analysis of the incoming linebacker and his potential impact.
3. BamaFever.net: "Who Else Is Pumped for the Spring Game?!" - Excitement builds for the spring game where fans will get a first look at the new recruits.
4. CrimsonTideForever.org: "Should We Build a Statue for Thatfunk Already?"

Radio Show Snippets:

1. "Bama Blitz Radio": "Caller: ‘I can’t wait to see Papafinkel throw his first touchdown. This kid is the real deal!’ Host: ‘If he’s half as good as his name, we’re in for a treat!’"
2. "Tide Talk": "Host: ‘Can you believe we went from no bowl game to potentially the best recruiting class ever? Alabama football is like a Hollywood movie!’"
3. "Bama Blitz Radio": "Caller: ‘If ThatFunk can turn around last year’s mess, he can fix my love life.’ Host: ‘You might be asking too much!’"

Hypothetical Tweets and Threads:

1. @SECTrashTalk: "Alabama fans last year: 😢 Alabama fans this year: 😎 #RollTide #BounceBack"
2. @CollegeFootballMemes: "Alabama’s 2023 season was like my ex: full of disappointments. But 2024? That’s the new bae. 😍 #RollTide"
3. @TideTalk: "When your team goes from zero to hero in a year, it’s a wild ride. Buckle up, Bama fans! #RollTide"
4. @CrimsonAndWhite: "Alabama’s recruiting class this year is so good, even Auburn fans are jealous. 😂 #RollTide #WarEagleTears"

Facebook Group Posts:

1. Alabama Football Fans Unite: "How are we feeling about Thatcher Papafinkel? Future Heisman or just a cool name? Let’s discuss!"
2. Roll Tide Roll: "2023 was rough, but we’re back with a vengeance. Who’s excited for the new recruits? 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️"

Podcast Segments:

1. "Roll Tide Review": "This week, we break down the top five-star recruits joining Alabama and what it means for the future. Spoiler: It’s huge!"
2. "Crimson Chronicles": "Special episode: From despair to hope – Alabama’s incredible recruiting success story."
3. "Bama Banter": "Listeners, call in and share your wildest predictions for the 2024 season. Will Thatcher Papafinkel lead us to another championship in 2025?"
4. "Tide Talk": "Let’s relive the 2023 season – the lows, the lessons, and the laughter. How did it set the stage for our current success?"

TikTok Reactions:

1. @CrimsonQueen: "Me during the 2023 season: 😭 Me after seeing our 2024 recruits: 😍 #RollTide #FromTearsToCheers"
2. @FootballFanatic: Montage of Alabama highlights "Last year was rough, but this year? We’re coming for that championship! #RollTide"
3. @TideTok: Fan reaction compilation "Alabama fans reacting to our new recruits like…" shows people jumping, screaming, and celebrating "Roll Tide, baby!"

 

r/AlabamaFootball: "2024 Recruiting Class: The Avengers Assemble"

OP: @BamaFanForLife "Alright Bama fam, our 2024 recruiting class is looking so good it’s like the Avengers have assembled in Tuscaloosa. Let’s have some fun and compare each of our new five-star recruits to a Marvel superhero. I'll start:"

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Thatcher Papafinkel (QB, Balanced) - Captain America

@BamaFanForLife: "Thatcher Papafinkel is definitely Captain America. He’s got that all-American vibe, leadership skills, and a strong arm (like Cap's shield) to lead our offense. Plus, he’s from Mountain Brook, so he’s practically a hometown hero!"

@RollTideWarrior: "Totally agree! Papafinkel’s presence on the field is like Cap’s on the battlefield. We need someone to rally the team and he’s the perfect fit."

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Wallace Muth (OLB, Pass Rush) - Thor

@CrimsonThunder: "Wallace Muth is our Thor. He’s a beast in the pass rush with the strength and power to bring down any QB. Plus, his hammer-like hits are legendary!"

@BamaHammer: "Yes! Muth’s physicality and dominance on the field remind me of Thor’s might. When he’s on the field, he’s like a god among men."

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Michael Mullen (FS, Run Stopper) - Black Panther

@WakandaForeverBama: "Michael Mullen is our Black Panther. He’s agile, smart, and a fierce defender. His ability to stop the run is unmatched, just like T’Challa’s strategic mind in battle."

@TideWarrior: "Mullen’s quickness and ability to read plays is so Wakanda-like. He’s going to defend our end zone like it’s Wakanda’s borders."

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Joe Jensen (WR, Red Zone Threat) - Iron Man

@IronJoeJensen: "Joe Jensen is Iron Man. He’s reliable, innovative, and always makes big plays when we need them. His hands are like Tony Stark’s tech – they never fail!"

@StarkIndustriesBama: "Jensen’s ability to come through in the red zone is clutch, just like Iron Man in every Avengers battle. He’s got that star power and charisma too."