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2023 | Minnesota Vikings close season with new beginning


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Somewhere in a parallel universe, cries of distress ring out. "Noooo, don't do it" shrieks one Edina cakeeater. "Julius Thomas! Lawrence Pritchett! Chester HensonThat strong safety I don't remember the name of! Vardyyyyyyyyyy" But alas, destiny must prevail, and said universe fades into obscurity, lost to the sands of time, etch-a-sketched from all relevant minds.

Meanwhile, in this current reality, the Minnesota Vikings have exciting front office news. For the first time since @Jieret and the Las Vegas Raiders decided to have a(n unresolved, likely forever) tampering cased opened upon them for stealing previous Vikings valued FO member @cultur3, the Minnesota Vikings have made an addition to their staff, and it will no longer just be the (totally not unhinged) @Bundy running the show solely. 

The Minnesota Vikings announce @Bellwood as new Director of Sanity, truly the Sorcerer of All Knowing master of this regime. [Editor's note: this is Bellwood's chance to run while he can Belichick style]

Jerry "Bundy" Jones will continue to run the Vikings as COO, CEO, GM, and "head coach", if you can call it "coaching", but the new addition will be a prodigy and is not being hired just to serve as future Raiders-theft bait for the current legal action.

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