[URGENT] 2023 SimNFL Super Bowl Needs a New Home!

[subsequent]

Hello coaches, fans, and members of the media!

We at the SimNFL headquarters have an important announcement to make regarding the home of the 2023 SimNFL Super Bowl.

Originally, we definitely had a lucrative and exciting deal to host this year's Super Bowl at great stadium with amazing amenities that would have allowed all staff, friends, and family members to stay for free. Unfortunately, due to some very risky options trading by the owners of this stadium, they are now at risk of defaulting on their loans, so we need urgently find a new location to host the Super Bowl.

We would also like to address the popular and INCORRECT rumors. Contrary to what the media is reporting, the SimNFL staff did NOT spend an exorbitant amount of time and money developing a ChatGPT competitor for the purposes of simulating the viability of 4th and long fullback dives.

Anyway, this is where you all come in. We need people to submit proposals with any pictures, profit margins, sponsorships, bonus amenities, special features, and fan engagement opportunities that you can gather. After we have all of the submissions collected by the due date of Sunday July 23, 2023 at 11:59pm ET, the admins and staff will work together to vote and select the best proposal.

Please reply below here with your highest and best proposal for us to consider! Thank you very much.

[TuscanSota]

If there are no responses by July 21st, 2023, my nomination will be that we host the Super Bowl in Anchorage Football Stadium

[Bundy]

The simNFL invests much of its own money into corporate schmoozing when hosting its championship games. "If we invest X millions of dollars, we could maybe earn back X." But thus far, they've failed to expand beyond their fledgling target market, which is currently males relatively politically centralized. 

However, this year, simNFL diversifies, grows its marketable product, and puts more eyes - worldwide - on the premier game of the season.

The Cattle-ist: @Bundy's Super Bowl site Proposal

Though simNFL doesn't personally delve into politics itself, it can make its own cash cow, by cashing in on cows. 

There is something for everybody here. A massive reduction in need to pay labor, as there will be minimal food vendors; in fact, there will only be one, paying the minimalist of wages to the local youths: simNFL's Greens and Grazers. Greens, harvested fresh from the fenceline, for those of a more vegetarian palette. And - y'know how you can choose your own lobster at Red Lobster? Choose your own brisket, from moo! to you!, as for the right, simNFL wallet-lining price, you select from many free-range, "non"-GMO grazers.

Certainly nothing will be afowl 👀

 

Want to reduce your own personal destruction of the environment? Invest in simNFL's Carbon Offsets Program, where enough green (Presidents) can make you squeaky clean (enough to campaign for President, which is, uh, an increasingly low bar). And the simNFL loves to support its COPs.

Championship week events for those attending include political debate stages, which increase the amount of manure spread around, allowing proper fertilization of the playing surface. 

 

 

 

Oh, you thought the field was going to be in Texas? Noooo, no no noo noo nooo. simNFL doesn't need to compete with the rich Texas oil fields for rights to land. In fact, all proposed above can be dealt out to the lowest bidder. Texas isn't even that centralized, simNFL needs something better, something they don't need to spend money on. What state absolutely needs tourism in simFebruary, when the weather is awful in an already terrible place? Which city will cede public land over to simNFL to 'develop', along with tax-free donations of public money, host a massive worldwide spectacle, and then flip for profit without benefitting the locals at all? 

 

Indianapolis. And no, it will not be at the Colts stadium, as then 31 other simNFL owner's would be lining Klemm's pockets with reduced gain of their own. No, this will be a split-32-ways type of public works project, with the game being held in historic 

simNFL-owned

Subsequent Stadium

Indianapolis, Indiana (Outdoors)

Sponsorship

Subsequent Foods specializes in carb-based, grain+yeast foods. Their main competitor is a German-created chain. They have the money to put their name on the field because I heard they were in a banned. 

 

 

Additionally, the media-week spectacle that draws fans who might not have tickets to the Big Game to the event, can be hosted with scenic views of Indy. Some notable historical buildings show Big Game week renderings above.

[Sarge]

Mexico City, Mexico Estadio Azteca

WHY?

1. Because we've already played in Mexico's crown jewel of a stadium before and we should do it again. It would be history to have the first Superbowl (in sim history) to ever be played outside the U.S.
2. It would be rad, is houses more than 83,000 fans, a larger capacity than any current NFL stadium so you know it'll be loud and incredible for the players.
3. I could make a cool superbowl poster again.