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[2023] Vancouver Sea Lions announce new head coach

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subsequent Position Coach

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Vancouver, BC | 12:00pm | January 31, 2023

 

The reigning SimNBA Champions Vancouver Sea Lions welcome @Sarge as the new head coach for the 2023 season. Coach @Sarge brings a wealth of experience from the footballing world which he expects to implement into his duties at General Motors Place.

 

Originally from San Diego by way of Kansas, Coach has been known for his incredible motivating speeches, impeccable understanding of any and all sport, and a fantastic moustache/hair combo. Many have called him "all of the best parts of Ted Lasso and I am Ron Burgundy?."

 

After the disappointing cancellation of the 2022 SimNBA season, the Sea Lions had a personnel problem without a Solution. A simple text mesdsage later, the answer was found.

 

General Manager @subsequent noted, "We love the enthusiasm he brings. We absolutely believe in @Sarge. He stays classy on and off the field."

 

Vancouver is incredibly excited to introduce Coach to the Sea Lions raft!

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Sarge Position Coach

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I am now taking questions, but only on the best flavors of ice cream and nothing related to sports or the team because that's a waste of my talent.
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Sarge Position Coach

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I think mint has an identity crisis at the moment. Much like cheese is the ultimate topping, mint finds itself in a variety of foods outside of ice cream. Thin mints, gum, BREATH MINTS? They have an entire monopoly on making your breath smell good. This is a classic instance of not finishing out on top with mint chocolate and bringing down your legacy with "one more ride".
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