Tulane president makes statment

[kgreene829]

Michael A. Fitts the president of Tulane came out and made a statement about all the news from Tulane today. He stepped up to the podium and said "Who the fuck is coach Kgreene829? Also since when do we have a football team?" Michael then opened the floor for questions.

[tsweezy]

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

[kgreene829]

It is very important that Wendy's employees get special benefits for their work. Also can I get a 20 Pc Chicken Nugget Combo with fries and lemonade please.

[TuscanSota]

Mr. President,

Are you aware of the hit to your school’s reputation in light of the recent news?

[kgreene829]

Great question but before I answer I will have uhm 3 tacos all hard shell with ground beef and cheese, oh boy I love taco bell. Ok to answer your question the attempted attack on Adam Edwards is not because of his performance in football we are still investigating this so I can't share much but apparently this attack was because Edwards said that Star Trek is better than Star Wars. We are looking into it more but what you have to realize is that Edwards is not a popular guy and a lot of people could want him dead for many reasons.

[TuscanSota]

With these comments said, would you consider Tulane to be a safe institution for student athletes to attend?

[cultur3]

I want to see the drug test results. I’m calling the FDA

[kgreene829]

Yes, unless your name is Adam Edwards, like come on everyone hates that guy.

[kgreene829]

Don't worry we tested positive for every one which means no drugs