BigXII Week 2 Review

[Swipet]

 

:iowastate:

The realization you have to score points to win

Won 29-25 vs Mississippi State

 

It was a barn burner in Ames with the Cyclones dodging and weaving their way to victory due to a 16 point blitz in the third quarter. QB Russell Latimer was the main driver of the cyclone offense as he had 188 yards through the air and 145 on the ground. The Bulldog defense somehow was trying to focus on RB Jaylen Lengel and was still failing at that task as Lengel ran for 145 yards and a score. The Bulldog offense had some good balance as they torched the Iowa state secondary and had some success on the ground. But it was the two turnovers with great field position that allowed Iowa State to secure the victory.

 

:kansas:

You either die the turnover or live long enough to become the turnover

Won 27-24 @ Ball State

 

A successful twist in any story is when the antagonist overcomes conflict and has personal growth. You could say that rule also applies to the University of Kansas football team as they went from giving up 4 turnovers in week 1 to forcing 4 against the Cardinals friday night. QB Ian Morgan also helped the cause by having an efficient performance through the air with 3 TDs. Ian was helped by Bene Humber who rushed for an absolute errotic 88 yards on 22 carries for a solid 4 yards per carry. Math nerds were absolutely taken by this performance and consistently left for the bathroom to “relieve” themselves (poor custodians). The 24 point first half and second half defensive adjustments allowed Kansas to secure their first victory of the season.

 

:westvirginia:

Hey Siri. Play Country Roads while I drive off a cliff.

Lost 14-34 vs Marshall

 

What did you have to do Friday night? Did you spend time with your family, call your mother, or play a board game? Either of these activities and many more would have been a better use of your time than watching the West Virignia-Marshall game. But since this is a write up piece, I am obligated to write about the game but I do warn you it’s not for the faint of heart. The Offense was garbage as they had extreme trouble trying to surpass the 100 yard mark and barely accomplished the feat by the end of the game. Marshall sliced the mountaineer defense like a burning car through a crowd of pedestrians. QB Joran Key threw the long ball like it owed him money and scored 3 TDs while the ground game abused the defense physically by running for over 300 yards with an average of over 5 yards a clip.

 

 

:texastech:

This is a cry for help. Make this stop.

Lost 9-13 @ Michigan State

 

It’s only a theory but hear me out. On Friday night, West Virginia absolutely got destroyed by Marshall and somewhere in a Lansing bar, coaches @rcarlson77 hatched a fantastic plan with this idea. “If West Virginia sucked this bad, let's do the opposite so we will be good!”. Sounds great on paper is what the assistant coaches chimed in while their boss hatched this plan at 2 am. Rumors of this new unstoppable game plan reached the football offices of Michigan State who had their engineering department dissect and reverse-engineer the West Virginia game plan and had the world's greatest minds develop a game plan to counter the West Virginia game plan that was the opposite of the West Virginia game plan. But both teams did not realize the incomprehensible truth. The West Virginia game plan that was executed to perfection Friday night was absolute dogshit that no good can come from it. Trying to inverse this game plan what already and was going to be shit is going to also be shit as follows

 

West_V_GamePlan == “SHIT”

 

Texas_T_GamePlan == West_V_GamePlan - “SHIT”

 

Michigan_State_Gameplan == Texas_T_Gameplan - “SHIT”

 

COMPUTATIONAL ERROR: TEXAS_T_GAMEPLAN CANNOT =/ “SHIT”

 

COMPUTATIONAL ERROR: MICHIGAN_STATE_GAMEPLAN CANNOT =/ “SHIT”

 

So therefore with Science and Math. We explained why the Texas Tech and Michigan State Football game was doomed to fail from the start. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

 

 

 

Speedrunning the Lou Groza Award

Lost 12-13 vs SMU

 

After the tragedies that occurred before them. The Baylor Bears vowed to play differently and they did to a point. With an excellent defensive game plan, they closed any throwing lanes that SMU QB Jamar Jimenez had and destroyed the SMU running game by only allowing 52 yards total. But Mustangs had the same game plan for the Bears too. Baylor QB had some good throws here and there but never actually sustained a TD drive after the first quarter. The bears lost due to an extra point which means you can cross that one off if you’re playing SIMFBA bingo.

 

:oklahomastate:

The Matt Howard Show - Coming to PBS

Lost 7-33 @ Florida State

 

The Poke coaching staff drew up their game plan around one thesis statement. STOP MATT HOWARD. Even by being paid millions of dollars per year, they barely accomplished that. Matt Howard threw for a ridiculous 62 times for 503 yards and 4 scores. Oklahoma State tried to limit possessions and kill time by running the ball that resulted in some success, but the passing game behind QB Matthias Reed let the rest of the offense down as Florida State throttled the team from Stillwater 33-7.

 

:tcu:

Success on one play. Not so much on the others

Lost 7-24 @ Duke

 

There was a collapse in the Matrix in Durham, North Carolina Saturday afternoon. During the first quarter, Duke QB Teddy Ezechukwu who is also on the Heisman name list threw an interception that was returned to the Duke endzone. Should be a touchdown right? Wrong. The TCU offense trotted out and actually ran an entire play in the duke endzone that resulted in an incompletion as the designated WR ran into a wall. The officiating crew threw more gas onto the fire by calling an unnecessary roughness penalty on Duke CB Shakir Webb who was sitting on top of the field goal posts at the time of the play. After a 20 minute discussion with both head coaches, the officials admitted their mistake and awarded TCU a one-time penalty kick for one point. The rest of the game went off without a hitch as Duke cruised to a 24-7 victory.

 

:texas:

Had a competent performance

Won 31-30 vs Rice

 

Texas did not skip a beat offensively as they diced the Rice defense like Bok Choy. QB John Saffold missed on a lot of his throws but the ones he connected on, went for large gains or touchdowns. A complete performance by going for over 500 yards of total offense gave the longhorns a 24 point second quarter. Rice also had a great game by shockingly going from their future Heisman-winning RB Mike Calhoun and opt for more of a passing offensive play calling. This switch worked dividends in Rice’s favor as their WRs were able to exploit their one on one matchups with the Texas corners and move the ball efficiently. Mike Calhoun tried to make a difference with his limited snaps and did so by rushing for 7 yards a carry and 2 scores. Rice almost tried to make this a game in the 4th but Texas sealed the deal by finishing with a field goal.